Thalia // The Hunger Games One-Shot

//Hi everyone. This is a Hunger Games one-shot I wrote when I was sixteen. I am actually quite proud of this work, among all the other embarrassing works I have produced. Thalia is a fictional character of my own creation. Through the story you will figure out who she is. I hope you will come to like this little piece. Please leave me a feedback, either a positive one or a negative one. Thank you for spending your time on my blog.//

The story begins after this scene.

THALIA

I lifted the small girl off the cold metal floor of the hovercraft and gently laid her down on the bed. Then I pulled the spear out of her stomach, half the blade covered by her blood. Rue, that’s her name. Poor thing, she’s just twelve. Twelve. And she died with a spear in her stomach. I observed Rue from close for the first time. She has smooth dark skin, and an innocent pretty face framed with small dark brown curls. Some of the flowers are still stuck in her hair, and I didn’t bother to pull them out. Katniss did the right thing after all. I knew she wanted to show Panem that the tributes were not just a part of their ‘show’. Katniss has always been a strong and dignified person. People all around the Capitol called her ‘The Girl on Fire’, and they’re right. She has the flame in her. She never lets anything control her life or stand in her way, not even in the Games. Sometimes she reminded me so much of myself. Before I was captured and imprisoned in the Capitol, that is.

Ever since I found out that Katniss took Prim’s place in the Games, I was very nervous, scared even. As someone who’s been working on this hovercraft for years, of course I would be. Every year I see young children dead with blood all over. Some had their hands bitten off by the Gamemakers’ creatures, some were completely burnt by the wildfire, some died of snake venoms and of course, some with spears and arrows in their bodies.

I looked down from the tiny window of the hovercraft. Katniss was no longer in the clearing. She moved on quick and sleek, like a fox, not risking anything. She’s clearly a good hunter. Having been watched her for two whole weeks in the control room, she’s evidently used to the woods, that to her, hunting and staying alive were second instinct. I was surprised by her ability to use bows. I was never good with bows. I was more of a dart person, which was almost useless when it comes to hunting. Most of the time I had to rely on my traps.

When Katniss had Rue in her arms earlier, she was crying and singing her a lullaby. Dad’s lullaby, I recognized. So Dad taught Katniss the song too. Of course he did. She was his daughter too, after all. I was sure Prim has also heard of the lullaby before, Katniss must have sang it to her on her sleepless nights. Dad used to do the same thing to me.

Suddenly a wave of memories hit me hard. I miss Mom, I realized. I miss District 12, even though it’s nothing much. I miss the woods and the mockingjays. I miss the smell of fresh bread coming out from Bread Boy’s bakery. What’s his name again? Peter? Percy? Anyway, I know what – or who, rather - I miss most. Dad.

When Mom told me in her letter that Dad died in a mine explosion, I didn’t believe her. I couldn’t believe her. Dad has always been a tough lad, like Katniss and I, and the complete opposite of Mom and Prim. He couldn’t have just died like that. I know it better than anyone else, I believe. He had been bitten by a Brown Widow before, but he survived. He almost got carried away by the river at the edge of the woods and be gone forever, but he managed to cling himself to a log and pulled himself up, fighting the strong current with all his energy. He even almost took a bite from a nightlock berry, but at the very same time a rabbit happened to pass through the bush and died around a minute later because of the berry.

So you see, Dad narrowly escaped Death many times. To me he was always a survivor, a fighter. He’s a man who considered taking care of his family his number one priority. He’s a man who would never leave us alone. Dad used to tell me, “Lia, be a good hunter so that if Dad’s not here one day, you’ll be able to feed our family. Understand?” And I told him, “No Dad, you’ll always be here to take care of us.” But now he isn’t, because of a stupid mine explosion. And I didn’t even get to catch a glimpse of him before he left us forever.

My neighbor, Luce, told me in her letter that Dad cried the day I got caught and sent to the Capitol. Mom was worse. She was so despaired that she couldn’t bring herself to cry. She blamed herself for what happened to me because she was the one who gave me the permission to leave the house. I was trying to steal a kind of special berry the Capitol grew, a berry that is the only cure to my old Gramma’s disease. It wasn’t easy to get my hands on it, I had to cross to the other side of the woods. But back then I trusted my instinct and I believed that I could get away with this. It’s either I take the risk or Gramma dies. Dad forbad me, of course, but I knew back then too that it was a difficult decision for him. Gramma was his mother after all. And so on Tuesday morning after he left for work I told Mom that I would be going around the the Hob looking for good trades. First she hesitated – of course she would, I was twelve back then, like Prim and Rue – but after a while let me go. It seems that I could lie convincingly. Then I quietly crept into the woods like I always did and set for the healing berries.

Let’s just say I was extremely unlucky. That very day the Capitol freaks decided to keep an eye on their precious berries, as if their extra-electrified fence and a few manmade creatures weren’t enough. Going through the fence was very risky, as it was more dangerous than the fence surrounding District 12, but I somehow managed to creep in. Before that I threw in some fresh meat with sleeping syrup to handle their hound-like creatures. Then came the lock. I almost managed to unlock it with my rusted wire when whissh, a hovercraft like the one I’m currently working in appear above my head. My untidy hair was flying everywhere and I couldn’t even see properly. All I could think of was ‘Run. Quick.’ Obviously, this time I did not make it. They dropped a net over me and pulled me up by my right leg. I wasn’t sure how hard I was screaming.

In the evening, the Capitol sent a few more peacock freaks to my house to inform my family that they captured me. They asked my family to not speak about this matter to anyone and that if anyone asked about me, just tell them that I’m dead. I’ve always thought that the Capitol people were the most heartless monsters in the whole of Panem, but then they made a shocking decision. I mean, it’s the Capitol’s decision. All letters from District 12 would be delivered to me, on one condition, that is I was absolutely not allowed to reply to any of them. The Capitol freaks were too afraid that any inside information about them would be leaked out. Hah, like I’m going to talk about the Capitol in my letters.

Luce was the first one to write to me, about three days after I was captured. She said my parents were trying hard to cope with my absence and I felt the worse guilt I ever had. Instead of trying to help my family, I had hurt them. In the end I didn’t even get the berries to Gramma. She passed away a month later.

Initially I thought that because of my offense, my tongue would be cut off, like most of the Avoxes. But I was a very quiet and steady person, I didn’t even try to escape (because I knew there’s no good doing so) and the Capitol saw something in me, though I don’t know what. So finally the only thing they did to me was insert a tracker in my body, the same ones they inject into the tributes’ arm. They even gave me an acceptable job in the house-keeping department and years later, ordered me to work in the hovercrafts to pick up dead bodies in the Hunger Games.

Two months after my capture, I received my first letter from Mom. She said that she’s sorry and that she loved me. I knew she cried while writing the letter because there were watermarks on the ancient yellow paper. I wanted to tell her that it’s okay, that everything was my fault and that I loved her too. But of course, there was no way I could write her a letter.

Mom wrote me approximately every two months. I kept them all safely in my drawer in my room, hidden below a biography of one of the ‘remarkable people’ of the Capitol. Through her letters I could see that her heart was slowly healing. She wasn’t as sad as before, and she even occasionally cracked jokes. In every single letter she would also include Dad’s message to me. It was after 3 years that she informed me she was pregnant with Katniss. Then four years later, with Prim.

Life was okay for me then. Until a month ago, when I found out that Katniss volunteered to take Prim’s place in the Hunger Games.

Mom then sent me another letter saying that she didn’t know what to do, that she don’t want to lose her child again, like how she lost me, even Dad. She made me promise her that I would try my very best to take care of my sister. ‘She is so much like you, Lia. You’d know it when you see her in the Games.’ She wrote. Turns out Mom was right. Although Katniss and I do not bear much physical resemblance, we shared many common characteristics. Through the monitors, I felt like I was watching a younger version of myself.

When I knew that Katniss would be taking part in the Games, I felt so helpless. I couldn’t get her out of the death arena, nor could I go anywhere near her to give her advice. Not that I am capable of giving any good ones, now that I think about it. So I did the only thing I could to help my sister – I begged my friend Cinna to take her in and be her stylist. I begged him to use every method he could think of to get as many sponsors for Katniss as possible. In the Capitol, Cinna is probably the only one I trust.

Cinna did not fail me. In fact, on the first day of the Games, Katniss and the Bread Boy were among the few who got the highest sponsors. I owed Cinna so much. I repaid him with a kiss and a confession: I revealed that Katniss was actually my sister. I had to keep this a secret because if the word gets out, I would surely be kicked out of the control room and forbid me from working in the hovercraft. Or worse, this time they might actually turn me into an Avox.

Talking about the control room, I had been watching Katniss from the very first day of the Games. I prayed for her everyday before I go to bed, even now. I prayed that the other tributes wouldn’t hear her footsteps, that her snares would catch preys, that she would never run out of water, that her aims would be perfect, that she would remain strong, that she would never give up.

There were also monitors in the hovercraft, and I looked for Katniss. She seemed exhausted, I bet she would probably crash on a tree soon. The other tributes were a good far distance from her. I smiled. I’ll always be watching you, Katniss. Don’t die. Mom and Prim need you.

I slowly leaned down towards Rue and kissed her on the temple like my sister did, and continued Dad’s lullaby, assuring Rue that she’s now home. Safe.

Hospitals

There are generally two types of people.

The first type of people are those who avoid hospitals because they remind them of the sicknesses they might be carrying. Hospitals make them doubt their own state of health. Hospitals make them think about the amount of pain they might have to go through before dying. Hospitals remind them of death in general. These kind of people believe that ignorance is bliss.

The second type of people are those who feel safe in hospitals because in there are the people who can cure them or make them feel better. Hospitals help them by detecting their unseen problems before they become deadly. And if something bad were to happen to them in hospitals, there are always people at ready to aid them. Equipments and professionals are so close to them.

It's all a matter of perspectives. What kind of a person are you?

Fear

//I wrote this essay for my English exam. I edited a few grammatical errors but other than that, this is exactly what I handed in to my teacher. The title is 'fear', and thus my post title.//

        Fear. It is as strong an emotion as the other four-lettered emotions we are familiar with. Love. Hate. Some people see fear as cowardly, others see it as something you feel because you still have things and people you love and need to protect. Sometimes, when the people you love and care about are taken away from you, you no longer feel afraid because you no longer have anything to lose.

        The antonym of fear is fearless. What exactly does being fearless mean? Different people define fearless differently. Taylor Swift defines fearless and not being afraid to have lots of fear. Veronica Roth describes fearless as the ability to act in spite of fear. I agree with both. Harry Potter was willing to surrender himself to the man who will murder him just to protect his friends. The old couple in 'Titanic' faced their fear together and just slept side-by-side instead of trying to escape the sinking ship. Ask yourself, are you fearless enough to do all of this? Some of you might be able to, others might not. I don't think I could get rid of my fears so easily. Who says books and movies don't teach you anything?

        I have a list of fears. We all do. But I bet mine is longer. Mostly, I am afraid of pain and death. How ironic it is, that I am afraid of the two most inevitable things in the world. Some people might think that it is ridiculous for me to fear death, since everybody has to go through it at some point of our lives. But maybe it's not death I am afraid of. Maybe it's the pain that comes with death. Very few people get easy deaths on Earth, and when I say easy death, I mean dying in your sleep. My mom said she hopes she can die that way. In her sleep. Painless. But dying in your sleep will really suck to the people who care about you. One day you are here, and the next, without a warning, you are gone. No one even gets to say goodbye. Not even you, the dying one, because you won't know that you'll be dying. It will scare me to death if I knew in advance when I was going to die. Pun not intended.

        Cancer scares me. Dying in an accident scares me. Getting stabbed in the stomach scares me. Falling off a roller coaster scares me. In the end you can just conclude that pain and death scare me. When I go to amusement parks, I always have this fear where I go on a roller coaster and there was a loose screw but the technicians did not notice it. Then the whole roller coaster structure comes tumbling down and I fall to my death. That is why I always avoid going on roller coasters. I also have this scenario formed in my head that when I go for a medical check-up, the doctor will look up to me with a serious face and inform me that I have cancer. That is why I avoid hospitals and clinics too. They remind me of the sicknesses I might be carrying. Well, as some people say, ignorance is bliss. Although in my case I'm pretty sure it's just me being a coward. My mom goes for all sorts of check-ups and she is never afraid. My mother is very brave.

        Injections and dentists scare me too. The more fears I list down the more pathetic I feel. I don't think my friends have these kinds of stupid fears. Those who wear braces go for dental appointments all the time. They have their permanent teeth removed. All I have to do is to be called for a scaling session and I start freaking out. Who knows, the dentist can accidentally drop a pair of scissors into my throat. Okay, now I'm just being paranoid.

        Anyway, I'm just slowly trying to get rid of my fears one by one, you know? I really want to overcome my fear of injections. It's dumb really, for me to be afraid of something which helps to immunize me from a disease, which is another one of my fears. Does it make sense? Am I confusing you? I hope not. Basically, I am afraid of cervical cancer but is not willing to go for the immunization jab because I am also afraid of injections. Ha.

        I know we both have our fair share of fears. My fears are not really something personal, so I don't mind sharing them with you. But I hope that I can get rid of some of them soon, and I hope you will too.

(P/S: I got 42/50 for this essay)

Cuts

Don't lay the blades on your wrists
It doesn't remove much of the pain.

Instead
Take what you feel
And put them into words.

Write it down
Scream it loud
Draw it out
Or simply
Scratch senseless patterns
Violently
On a piece of paper
With something permanent
Until the paper tears.

Falling Out of Love

//I wrote this yesterday night during my tuition. I don't know what got into me when I should've been studying.//

What if one day
You fall in love
Then years later
Fall out of love
With the same person.

Even though
It is all your fault
He doesn't believe it.
He blames himself
You blame yourself
And both of you hurt each other
Beyond repair.

But most of all
You hate yourself
For being unfair
To the one who
Never stopped believing in you.

If you're lucky
You stay in love
Till your dying day
With the same person.

But what if
What if you're a monster
What if you really do
Fall out of love.

10 Fandom Confessions

1. I feel like Rick Riordan is starting to change. He's getting a little too proud of himself probably because he thinks his characters are so desirable, judging by the way fangirls react to them. Sorry I had to say this.

2. I think Phil has a guy crush on Dan. But he's not necessarily gay. Just a guy crush. I mean, I have girl crushes.

3. One complaint I have for Divergent is that Will's death was too quick. I really really liked Will, but he died so fast I didn't even feel a thing. Just like that, Tris shot him, he died, Tris ran away.

4. I can't feel the love between Peeta and Katniss. Gale however loves Katniss so much that it hurts him. As for Katniss, she is just a young girl who doesn't know what to do with her love life.

5. I liked Divergent more than The Hunger Games.

6. I do everything halfway. I watch music videos halfway and stop. I read books halfway and stop. Blimey, I am in the middle of six books. The Lost Hero, Delirium, Between The Lines, Before I Fall, The Red Pyramid, and Mockingjay. I sort of started reading the first two chapters of The Maze Runner too, but I'm not going to include that.

7. I wish Jacob Black had ended up with Leah Clearwater instead. Leah is arguably my favourite female character in the whole twilight saga. Seth should have been the one to imprint on Renesmee. At least their age gap isn't as big.

8. Fred Weasley's death doesn't affect me much anymore because it has been years since I read Harry Potter and I can't remember how it feels like.

9. I just love buying books. So much. It's like an addiction. Then I keep them at home and I don't even read them. Heck, I have more than 15 books at home which I haven't read and I'm still buying more.

10. Nicholas Sparks usually starts his books so slowly. Some of his books have such boring intros I can't get through the first three chapters.

Sea of Monsters adaptation: Things I Liked and Disliked

（Warning: This post is not spoiler-free)

So, like all demigods (fans of the PJO series, if you're wondering), I've been waiting for the SoM movie ever since they announced the casting. Half the people in my fandom even waited a lot longer than I did because I only joined the fandom this year, after reading all the five books in March/April.

Anyway, I watched the Lighting Thief around three times before reading its book. I actually enjoyed the movie before I read the book. I thought it was good. But after the book I realized how much they have changed the plot and how many parts they have cut out. Ares wasn't in the movie. Percy did not help Ares to retrieve Aphrodite's scarf. Grover was supposed to be a little cowardly. Annabeth was supposed to be blond. They didn't explain that Medusa wanted to get her revenge on Annabeth, because her mom, Athena, was the one who turned her hair into snakes. But that's okay. It doesn't affect the whole storyline in general so I'm fine with it.

This time for Sea of Monsters, I was super excited. I think I watched all the trailers, some of the movie featurettes and tv spots. I followed @PercyMovies. I followed some of the cast. I waited for the stills. Judging from its trailer, I had high hopes for the movie. And now, after watching it (I actually watched it two weeks ago but was too lazy to blog about it), I'm going to write my reviews on it.

Things I Liked:

1. I'm glad that they explained Thalia's past at the very beginning of the movie. After all, the second movie centers around getting the Golden Fleece to recover Thalia's tree. If I put myself in the shoes of a fan who have not read the book and judge, it's a good way to start the movie because it explains everything from the beginning to avoid confusion later on.

2. Hermes is so cool. I can't decide whether I like the book Hermes more or the movie Hermes more. (Fun fact: I'm a Hermes kid). I loooove the part where he says "It's cute how you two (Percy and Annabeth) finish each other's sentences." I don't remember that part being in the book so it's a great addition to the movie. And I'm glad that George and Martha (the snakes) are in the movie although they look very unrealistic. They are very cool snakes.

3. Riptide/Anaklusmos. That's the name of Percy's sword if you've forgotten. I like how much of effort they have put into the designing the sword. Especially during the part at camp where Percy fought the Colchis bull and he threw his sword into the bull's mouth and it unwinds in slow motion. That was super cool man. It looked like some high-tech sword. Good job on the sword. I just wish they added in the part in the book where Riptide will always return to Percy's pocket because there was some enchantment on it or something. I can't remember.

4. The Mist. Okay, first of all, THE MIST IS NOT KEPT IN A SPRAY BOTTLE OH MY GODS. THE MIST IS IN THE AIR. IT'S EVERYWHERE. MORTALS SEE  MAGICAL BEINGS DIFFERENTLY. THEIR BRAIN ADJUSTS IT TO WHAT THEY BELIEVE IN, TO WHAT THEY'RE USED TO SEEING. IT AFFECTS EVERYONE, NOT JUST MORTALS. EVEN DEMIGODS GET AFFECTED BY THE MIST. THAT IS WHY WHEN PERCY FIRST MET TYSON HE ALSO SEES HIM WITH TWO EYES. IT'S QUITE COMPLICATED TO BE EXPLAINED IN THE MOVIE so yeah I have to say the movie producers were actually quite creative in changing the part. Keeping the mist in a bottle as if it's perfume. It's funny for book fans (I laughed the first time Annabeth pulled out the mist bottle), but to make things easier and less complicating, okay we'll stick to having the mist in the bottle.

5. I liked the guy with many hands. I don't think he exists in the book. Nope. Unless you count Briares, which cannot be counted, because he's a whole different species. Hekatonkheire. Cousins of the Cyclopes. Okay let's not go to the books shall we because I don't want to confuse you. It's so cool how he makes all the drinks so quickly. And it's nice to see that magical beings get to work, umm, I mean, be a part of the 'normal' society.

6. CLARISSE. The movie Clarisse is so bad-ass. (Being bad-ass is supposed to be Thalia's job but nevermine). Leven Rambin did a good job playing Clarisse. When the casting was first announced, practically everyone said that she was too pretty to play Clarisse. You see, Clarisse isn't supposed to be pretty. In the book, she is described as a big ugly beefy bully. In the first book, when Percy first reached camp, she actually tried stuffing Percy's head in a toilet bowl. (Yes, she was supposed to be in the first movie too). But even though Leven is nowhere near ugly, she did her job well. I like movie Clarisse. And to be frank, I like Leven more as a brunette than as a blonde. (PS: Did you know she was Glimmer in The Hunger Games?)

7. Thank the Gods Dionysus is in the second movie.

8. Again thank the Gods we have double the number of characters in the second movie compared to the first one.

Things I Disliked:

1. Number one. I was going to say that their official camp shirt was supposed to be orange but I will not list that down because it doesn't affect the storyline. But yes, it would be nice if everyone was wearing the same orange shirts.

The thing I disliked most about the movie is CIRCELAND. IN THE NAME OF THE TWELVE OLYMPIANS IT ISN'T CIRCELAND. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE CIRCE ISLAND. DO YOU KNOW THAT CIRCE ISLAND WAS ACTUALLY THE PART I LOOK FORWARD MOST TO IN THE MOVIE??? UGHHHHHHH.

Here is what was supposed to happen.

They entered the sea of monsters. They were sailing here and there bla bla bla and they reached this beautiful tropical island. Circe Island. It's actually some sort of spa, a beauty center. They entered the island, and along the path there were a few ladies resting and sunbathing on their 'beach chairs'. (I don't know what you call them). Eventually they reach a room(?) and they met Circe. Circe owns the spa and she offered to make both Annabeth and Percy beautiful. Annabeth went first. She came out looking as a whole different person. Percy thought she looked amazing and everything, but she doesn't look like Annabeth anymore you know. Because she was too pretty and Percy liked simple Annabeth better. Then it was Percy turn. Circe gave him a drink. For the first few seconds he felt wonderful. Then suddenly he felt uncomfortable. He started changing. He started shrinking. Pum Pum Pum AND PERCY TURNS INTO A....guinea pig. Surprise!

THAT WAS WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! Circe is actually a sorceress who despises the male species. She said that the male species gets all the attention. And that whenever something great happens, it always involved a male hero. What about the females? Circe felt like it's their time to shine. At the corner of a room is a cage full of guinea pigs. Every man who stepped onto her island was turned into a guinea pig. All the women on the other hand were beautified. Do you have any idea how interesting this part is? How amazing it would be in the movie? I was excited for this part. But NOOOO, THEY CHANGED IT TO CIRCELAND, WHICH IS AN ABANDONED THEME PARK. WHATTTT????

2. Nectar. Okay, let me clear things up. Nectar is not something you drink for fun. It's actually god food. Too much of it, and it literally burns your cells and kills you. Demigods take it in small quantities for healing. Yes, it heals you. When out traveling they carry cubes of nectar in ziploc bags. In camp they make it into a drink and drink it. Nectar tastes differently to every person. To Percy I think it tastes like something his mom made. It soothes you. It might even make you nostalgic? I don't know. The point is, it's god food, and the reason demigods can take them without going up in flames is that they're half gods. Normal mortals who take nectar will just go through combustion. Changing nectar into something casual you add into your 'Starbucks' drink is just...weird.

3. The Golden Fleece. Holy gods. The Golden Fleece in the movie looks like an old cloth! It's supposed to be a heavy GOLDEN FLEECE. LITERALLY. IT'S MADE OF GOLD AND IT'S SHINY AND IT LOOKS POWERFUL. BUT THE MOVIE FLEECE??? *sighs deeply*

4. Silena Beauregard (I almost wrote it as Silena Beckendorf sobs) and Chris Rodriguez. What in the name of the gods are they doing in the second movie??? Oh my gods?? We are not supposed to know that Chris is a traitor until the fourth movie, after he's rescued out of the Labyrinth (Don't ask me what that is), and Silena's role as a traitor is supposedly one of the biggest plot twists in the fifth movie! Silena is actually the head of the Aphrodite cabin. How are the movie producers going to fix Silena's part I have no idea.

5. As for the last thing I disliked, this is also a minor problem in the books, but a lot more obvious in the movies. You see, I feel like demigods are described and portrayed to be less powerful than they supposedly are. We always forget that demigods are still half gods. And that's quite some powerful shit. In the movies, it seems like Percy is the only one with special abilities, controlling water and healing with water and stuff. Other demigods can do cool stuff do. Hephaestus kids can create and fix anything. In extremely rare cases (coughs Leo Valdez coughs), Hephaestus kids can summon a fire. Demeter kids can make plants and flowers grow. Ares kids can turn your battle weapons into rubber. Some Aphrodite kids can charmspeak you (that means they can trick you into doing something). Apollo kids are healers and they can shoot arrows more accurate than Katniss does. Hermes kids are excellent thieves. (I don't want to talk about children and Hades and Zeus, you'll see them in the next movie ;)) Fighting is not the only thing they can do. But in the movies, I see that fighting is all they do. In my opinion, the other demigods should be given a little spotlight to showcase their powers too.  

So far, these are the only points I can remember. If you are reading this sentence, thank you. Because this probably means you read my entire rant. I'm not the best reviewer in the world, but I just wanted to voice out my opinions. I don't blog interesting stuff either, so thank you for bearing with my not-so-professional review (if you can even consider it a review). Let's just hope that we will have a third PJO movie, The Titan's Curse! (NICO AND THALIA AND ZOE AND BIANCA AND APOLLO AHA YAY)

Thank you, readers! Till next time!