Just saying

I know it's been a while since I've blogged, so I'm randomly writing this because I feel indebted to my followers :P

I was reading my friends' blogs earlier. The thing is...reading theirs felt like I have the experience of a toddler. They've been through backstabbing, break-ups, heartbreaks. They've been cheated on, treated like an option, separated from their loved ones. Me...I haven't really been through anything. Not that I'm complaining, but I felt that among all, I'm the immature one. Since experience make people mature. People face problems and get hurt but all I do around at home is fangirling -.-' I know that it's a blessing that these things don't happen to me, but...I don't know. Maybe you understand how I feel. Or maybe you don't. It depends.

Sometimes I wish I have a special story to share, something I've kept to myself. Like how perfect my first kiss was, or how I'll always remember my first love, or how painful it was to let go of someone I love, or how wonderful it feels to be in someone's arms. But I've never been through any of these, so I have nothing to say, nothing to tell.

I just hope I'm not the only who feels this. Lack of experience. Stupid, I know, of all things to feel. And yes, immature.

Just saying. Hehehe. Bye folks :)

Can't decide a title for this post

Thinking back, it's been a while since I blogged about anything personal. In fact, my blog has practically turned into a Korean stuff blog. Even the reason I'm typing something now is probably because my friend, Yiwen, is really active on Blogger and her blog gets princess treatment. I feel guilty to my blog. Sorry, Heather.(Yes I decided to name my blog Heather, like how I named my bottle Pixel and my bed Tortilla. I AM weird, thank you very much)

To be honest, I have zero idea on what to talk about. I'm not in a very 'encouraged' mood to pour out my feelings, like when you get really angry or really sad. I guess I'm being indifferent. Like I always am. Even my Physics teacher, Pn.Lim Siew Choo, asked me why do I always look so gloomy. Sigh.

I know I changed a lot. Too much, in fact. I don't even really know myself these days. I just don't seem to give a care about the world and only think of enjoying like shit. Boys Over Flowers everyday? Ignore my studies? Check out all the MVs of Girls Generation? Yeah, those kinda stuff. What an immature 16-year-old kid. Suits the name of my blog well.

It's obvious I'm starting to get obsessed over Kstuff. I'm just worried that I might piss my friends off. Not everyone in Malaysia are into Kstuff, you know. I was an English fan too. Not that I left that world completely, I still listen to English songs and watch English movies. Just less.

In my opinion, it's completely fine to have an obsession. Some people (or adult) might think that being obsessed over something like these entertainment stuff is stupid. No it isn't. In fact, it makes me happy. Sometimes I get super moody in the mornings for no reason. (I always do that) But the mere mention of my obsession (in my case, Kpop and Kdrama) can lighten me up. Ever experienced that? I believe that even Dahneersha, in her I'm-going-to-kill-someone mood, would smile if I talk about Justin Bieber or Harry Styles.

There's nothing wrong in liking something which makes you happy. Same goes with love.

On Wednesday, I had my Malay paper. My Malay is really weak, and I usually don't get high marks for my essays. English comes so much easier. It just flows. Malay? Not gonna happen for me. I didn't study much for Malay, I mean, language is not something you can actually study, right? So I just let it come. I got myself pumped up with SNSD songs in the car : Gee, Genie, Run Devil Run, Mr.Taxi, Oh, Hoot. I got so excited, thanks to my nine sisters. Their music always cheer me up. When I got to school, Yasheni was freaking out and she told me that I looked so confident. Haha, she should know that she's more prepared than I was. There wasn't much change that I could make by reading 15 minutes before the exam, so I just kept my excited mood going on. I sat for the paper, and wrote down whatever crap I could think of. The paper actually turned out fine. For section B, I chose to write a story. It was quite fun doing it, and thank God I managed to finish it on time. Like, a few seconds before the teacher collected it? I hope Pn. Soleha will enjoy my story. The first page was pretty dramatic, I admit. But my favorite was the first page too.

I gotta go home now. Sigh, I wanted to blog a little longer. Oh God, my post turned out to be about Korean stuff again. Forgive me, readers. But still, better something than nothing :)

#PS : Thanks SNSD, for always cheering me up ;)

My Korean crushes :)

Xaxaxaxaxaaaa.
I'm depressed right now cause the internet is so slow I can't load any Youtube videos. Sigh. I wanted to watch We Got Married! Seo Hyun is just so cute! :D (I know it's scary that I'm paying more attention to her than to Yong Hwa. Oopsie.)

Since I'm free, I'm gonna list down all the crushes I had for the past...month? I don't know, let's just say from the time Korean stuff started driving me crazy ;)

The saddest things about these 'crushes' are:
1. They are all above 20 years old. Sigh. And I'm just 16.
2. They are all far FAR away in Korea while I'm stuck in Malaysia. T.T
3. None of them are aware of my existence. Ouch :(

Since I'm a newbie in the Korean entertainment world, I only started watching You're Beautiful after it's been released...3 years ago? And so, my first Korean celebrity crush was:

Hwang Tae Kyung! :D (Real name : Jang Geun Suk) He can be ssssooooo charming in the drama but in the beginning he's so mean! Muahaha :P He practically shot death-stares to everyone in the first few episodes :P But when he smiles...(which is very rare at first)...

Awwwww! Cute, right?? ;D I forgot which episode this is from, but this scene is after they (Tae Kyung & Mi Nam) found their way back to their studio. He has a bad sense of direction and kept denying that they were lost. Even when they passed the same ice-cream store for like 3 times! xD When they finally found their way back, there goes that proud smile! :D Haha...Tae Kyung, Tae Kyung...And one more thing I love about him is when he does this :

Hahahaha! It's his habit in the drama! I'm guessing that the director asked him to do it, but it suits him! I even got influenced, since I'm still doing it in school ;P

Now, now, you may take a break, Tae Kyung :) My second my crush was :

Lee Shin from Heartstrings :) (Real name : Jung Yong Hwa of CN Blue) When I found out that Park Shin Hye and Yong Hwa re-collaborated after You're Beautiful, I was of course excited. (Just if you don't know, Park Shin Hye played Go Mi Nam / Go Mi Nyu while Jung Yong Hwa played Kang Shin Woo in YB) While waiting for my YB episodes to load online, I 'sneaked' into Youtube to try watching Heartstrings. (I used 'sneaked' because, well, when you're watching one drama, you should be completely loyal to it, right?) In my opinion, he looks better in Heartstrings :) (Don't get me wrong, he still looks good in YB) I already found him good-looking in the first episode, but I officially 'fell in love' with him after seeing him playing the guitar with his dad in the hospital. Was that episode 3? And also after he sang 'Because I miss you', one of the OSTs for the drama. It was a nice song, ya know? Korean dramas always have nice OSTs :) Let's give them a standing ovation for that :)

The following is my favorite picture of Lee Shin. I still love it :)

Sigh. You know, I was crazy over this picture. It used to be my wallpaper, and I used to smile and blush every time I looked into my phone. But to be honest, I've always loved pictures of sleeping guys. Lol, sounds wrong xD They look a lot cuter when they sleep, don't they? Me? Nahh, I probably look stupid when I'm sleeping.

The thing is, I only watched Heartstrings until around episode 4. That's because I felt guilty for 'abandoning' You're Beautiful for a few days and so I went back to watch it. Plus, I got so pissed that I couldn't find all the parts and episodes on Youtube so I kinda stopped. They have the videos there, but some are blocked from my country :/ Other websites are quite slow so I guess I should just buy the DVD. I planned to continue watching Heartstrings now that I'm done with Naughty Kiss. Ahh...!!! Speaking about Naughty Kiss...Omg, here it goes...!! *breathe in, breathe out*

My third crush! Baek Seung Jo! (Real name : Kim Hyun Joong of SS501) My, my. This guy here had me fell hard! I cried for almost every episode of Naughty Kiss especially episode 13. Sigh...Episode 13 :) That episode was painful and beautiful at the same time. He and Ha Ni (the main female character) were lying to each other saying that they liked someone else when they actually like each other. My stomach lurched a few times. It always happens when people get hurt in movies cause of love. But the ending of the episode...when they finally kissed in the rain...God. Oh god.

As much as I love this scene, I prefer the following scene when he hugs her like this:

Maybe it's because I really want a guy to do this to me. To keep me safe in his arms and caress my head gently.   

In Naughty Kiss, when Seung Jo was in high school, his hair was straight, like this:

After they graduated in around episode 6 or 7, he entered university with his hair permed.

Well, he looked good with both hairstyles :) Oh, Kim Hyun Joong! <3  I have to visit The Face Shop more often now, since he's the spokesperson! Can see his face big big there :D

And now, my current crush...:) Lee Jong Hyun of CN Blue :)

Aww...Such a darling, ain't he? :') When I found out that my number 2 crush, Yong Hwa, has his own band, CN Blue, I searched for their videos on Youtube and got hooked to Love Girl. That MV is just so cute! Then I happily downloaded pictures of CN Blue and looked up to more of their songs. Here's a pic of them ;)

 

From the left : JungShin, JongHyun, YongHwa (Leader), MinHyuk

 At first I was just looking at Yong Hwa and Min Hyuk in the pictures (since I only know the two of them through Heartstrings, both of them acted in there), but then lately I'm staring a lot at Jong Hyun too. He has such a sweet smile. Can you even resist him?

See? :) Sigh...Jong Hyun, Jong Hyun. If only you're a Malaysian. If only you're my age. If only you're someone I know from tuition...I'm sure I can't take my eyes off you in class. For now I really like you. Your smile makes me smile too, sweets :)  

 P/S : I get shy when I stare at this photo for too long xD

Hmm...Guess that's all for now, peeps :) I know I used A LOT of smileys, sorry for that, kay? Sorry too for not updating my blog last month, I really didn't know what to blog about. And don't hang around this post for too long ya, you might fall for my Jong Hyun :P  I don't think I would let you go that easily when it happens.

Peace out! Korean dramas rock! ♥ FIGHTING! (They always use this in dramas you know? Haha :))

It must be

My friend,
I do know,
A bad mouth I have here,
For so long now,
In fact, too long,
It has caused much pain.

My own fault,
It must be,
That mistakes repeat themselves,
That lessons are never learnt,
That hate grows,
That guilt piles up.

Not trying whole enough,
It must be.
Not caring hard enough,
It must be.
Not feeling deep enough,
It must be.

My friend,
If I were to leave now,
Would you forgive me,
Of all my idiocy?
Of all my carelessness?
Of all my recklessness?
Of all my sins?

Would you?

# I hope it's nice :) I was supposed to be doing my homework actually, but somehow this poem was created. Haha... By the way, thanks A LOT for stopping by my blog ;) #

China ♥ Japan ♥ Manga ♥ Love ♥

Gosh, I really miss China.
To be specific, I miss China during winter.

I was looking back at the pictures of my last trip to Shanghai and everything looked so pretty. The sky is always a light cooling blue (since it was winter, as I told), the landscape relaxes the eyes, the weather is comforting, there are awesome places to shop, the architecture of the buildings are so nice, the surroundings are clean. Hell, I even miss sitting on the train! ( Even though there are times where I had to stand)

I'm not sure why but I think I like winter because I get to wear thick clothes and scarfs :P (There's no winter here in Malaysia, so I think it was my first winter, although there wasn't any snow) I have no idea when I'll get to travel to China again, hopefully soon :) And believe me, if I'm a legal adult now, I would most probably start saving money and plan a trip to China with my friends ;) Wow, it sounds really awesome and tempting to me right now.

The next place which is running through my head 24/7 these days is JAPAN, JAPAN, JAPAN! Yes, I strongly believe that this is the result of excessive Manga, Anime and romantic comics but I don't care! All I wanted is to go to Japan! I don't know when I started becoming such an Asian girl. Before this I'm just thinking of western countries. America? Britain? Paris? London? Canada? Australia? New Zealand? HOLLYWOOD??!! Of course, I still want to go to those places (who wouldn't??), but if I get to choose, lovely Japan would be on the top of my list ;)

If I really get the chance to go to Japan, the first thing I would do is to buy tonnes of Bleach and Dengeki Daisy merchandises! xD For those who are rolling your eyes, I get it. You find these 'Japanese cartoons' a nonsense and fake. (Ouch ouch) But that's because you haven't watched or read them before. Listen to me, just try it once. You won't regret it. I just realized recently that Anime actually involve a lot of feelings. Sometimes you really gotta be old and mature enough to understand the characters' feelings. They might be just pictures with dialogue boxes to you but I look at them as wonderful stories with beautiful drawings :)

Actually...there is another reason why I wanted to go to Japan...I, umm, have a feeling, umm, that my, umm, love, is there. *blushing deeply* Fine, fine! Laugh at me! I'm just a normal girl seeking for love after all :) Imagine having someone's shoulder to sleep on, to have someone hug and protect you (like how Daisy protects Teru :) Shit, here I go again), to have someone who teases you but actually cares about you more than anyone else in the world, to have someone kiss your forehead before going to bed, to have someone who thinks that you're most beautiful even though you're surrounded by millions other prettier girls and to have someone hold your hand and never wanting to let go ♥

I fantasize too much huh? It's okay. As long as he's waiting for me I'll wait for him too.

Ouh, and I gotta read Dengeki Daisy now. I need my daily dose of romance! :P
And Japan, kindly wait for me! I'll be there one day!☺

Supernatural. I wish.

If you were given a chance to choose what kind of animal you would like to be, which creature would you pick?

Last time I used to ask myself the same question. Well, for all the obvious reasons, I answered myself with a pup or a doggie. You know, an adorable Toy Poodle or a lovable Golden Retriever? I mean, who don't want to be loved and cuddled everyday? That was what I thought before. I never knew I would change this much in such a short time.

Strangely, a few days back when I ask myself the same thing again, I came up with a different answer. Now, I wanted to be a cat. I don't know if Bleach has influenced my answer or anything (since Yoruichi can transform into a cat whenever she wants), but when I think deeper, being a cat is the closest thing to supernatural which I can feel.

Imagine this. I can walk around in the shadows and no one will see me or even hear my footsteps. I can jump from level 15 and still land perfectly in one sleek movement with the least impact possible, with no injuries at all. I can skip from roof to roof with almost zero difficulties. Climb up a really tall tree. Dash through the wind. One light jump and find myself in a lot higher position. I can actually feel like some spy from a different dimension. I can feel powerful. (Okay, this sentence makes me sound like I'm gila kuasa, huh?)

Oh shit, the movie's really getting into me. I wish for too much of the impossible. When I was obsessed over Twilight Saga I wanted to be a vampire. When I was really into Harry Potter, I was dying to be a witch. (I know I'm silly, but I even searched for the entire list of curses, spells and enchantments. Fine, I also tried saying 'Accio [insert object] ' and expected it to come flying to me). Now that Bleach (an awesome Japanese anime, for those who don't know) is my drug, I can't help hoping that deep inside, I hold the powers of a Shinigami (in English, Soul Reaper)

I'm so damned easy to be influenced! Looks like I have discovered a fact about myself : I love supernatural powers. Since I will never actually gain any, the only thing I can do is to think of what amazing movements I am capable of doing if I can transform into a kitty.

Yoruichi in her cat form :D

I know it's kinda childish of me to have these kind of thoughts when I'm 16 now, when I should be overly worrying over my studies, but still, sometimes daydreaming does make you feel good ;)

~Peace Out~Bleach forever ♥~