Bits and pieces put together

P/S: Every paragraph in this post is a random thought of mine. They are not related to one another.

Many years ago, when I was a child, I had a dream that everyone around me, my family and friends, turned into zombies and all of them tried to catch me and kill me. But the worse part was, none of them recognized me. I was lonely and scared and woke up crying.

That day a senior of mine posted a Facebook status to thank Manchester United for making her boyfriend happy. Personally I think that's really sweet.

I recently discovered how dumb I have been all along. You see, since I was small, I'm more of a ballad person, and not a huge fan of rock music. I found them annoying and noisy and meaningless. But now, I finally understood why my friend 'Alva' loves rock music. It makes you so high, it's so loud it drowns everything around you and all you wanna do is move your body to the beat of the music and ignore the world.

My friend Dahneersha and I - being the idiots we are - are worried about one thing, that is, what if one day both of us get a boyfriend, and we end up getting sick of him?

My fatal flaw (hamartia) is believing that everything will eventually turn out okay. I believe it so much that sometimes I don't even bother to try, to work hard. Just sit back and relax and wait for things to fall into place you know. As an example, for my exams, I'll convince myself that I do not have to worry so much because somehow my grades will turn out acceptable. This happens every single time and my grades are dropping and yes, it's worrying.

Fictional characters are so real, and yet, nowhere real enough.

I can't figure out what I want to do with my future. I'm already seventeen, and it's time to decide which university to attend, what course to take, but no, I can't make a decision. I wanna learn psychology, but open a gift shop or a shop which sells notebooks, but I'm also fond of charm bracelets and elegant accessories, but I also want to be a part-time actress or shit like that. I'm illogical, not serious, and my acting is really awkward to begin with.

It's my last year in secondary school, and I'm starting to regret a little, because in five years, I joined so little activities and competitions. And for 11 years in school, I was never once a class monitor, a librarian, nor a prefect. I have hardly any experience to talk about.

Finally, I want to confess that the dark side of me has the tendency to look for people's weaknesses. Not all people, but those who do better than me. I suck like that. Instead of trying to improve myself, I look for their weak points to make myself feel better.

And one more thing about me: Sometimes I do not sympathize.