The Fault in Our Stars

Current mood: I really want to post tfios quotes on Facebook but I'm a selfish bitch who doesn't like sharing.

So, I finished reading tfios last night and slept at three.

(My exams are still on next week but yolo, I wouldn't be able to stay up that late reading history anyway)

Firstly, I feel disappointed. Not with the book of course (John Green wrote amazingly, god knows how he does it), but with myself. Here's the thing about me. I am an emotion-obsessed person. Whenever I watch a movie or read a book, I want to feel it completely. This is because I believe that you only get to experience the feeling of reading and watching something for the first time for only ONCE. Rereading and rewatching something doesn't feel the same. So my advice to you, do not ever screw up the first time you read and watch something. Do it alone, away from distractions. I always choose to read at the middle of the night, while everyone is asleep. That way I can assure myself that I can cry as much as I want, because my mom is not going to call me to ask me to eat or stuff.

Anyway, back to the reason behind my disappointment with myself. I am disappointed that I am not giving justice to the book. I cried, yes, but I didn't feel the pang in my heart like I always do when I read books where people die. And it's completely my fault. Even though English is my best language out of the four languages I know, I'm not good enough at it. The book was too deep for me, the emotions too raw. I haven't experienced loss, so I couldn't relate. I hated that bit because it was a good book, and I'm missing out. My stomach did not lurch and I hated that. I hate reading something heartbreaking and not feel heartbroken. And it's all my fault because I cannot relate because I haven't lost anything or anyone. And the language was quite hard for me at some points of the book because I'm not good enough at English you see. It's just, god damn it John, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry to Hazel and to Augustus and to Isaac and to Peter Van Houten and to everyone else in the book because I did not feel enough. I was being unfair to the book.

The Fault in Our Stars is basically made up of quotes. I can quote that book forever. I have a little notebook for my book quotes but this time I'm not gonna copy down tfios quotes because I'll keep rereading them and ruin the book the next time I reread it because I would've memorized them by then.

But I'm not going to post the quotes here because my only friend who reads my blog have not read the book and I don't want to give her spoilers.

(Once a friend told me that Jacob will imprint on Renesmee before I reach that part of the book and that basically ruined my entire Breaking Dawn experience, so no, no spoilers for you peeps)

Anyway, it is confirmed that Ansel Elgort will be playing Augustus and Shailene Woodley will be playing Hazel and both of them act as siblings in Divergent so Twitter is pretty chaotic at the moment.

Thanks for spending time reading my rantings.

 

(P/S: Mister John Green. Psychology of a cancer patient. You nailed it. Clap for yourself okay?)